Friday, May 1, 2009

Yellow Pages WTF

Ok so its a nice April afternoon. I just fought traffic on the way home from DownTown Houston. I turn the corner to my house just all happy, pull into my driveway still happy. Then I see it. Yellow Pages WTF.. HUH, thats right a fucking stack of Yellow Page and White page directories on my door step. All piled up and staring at me. WTF i say to myself. And then i make 2 trips and throw the fuckers in the garbage can. Not Recycle but Fucking Garbage. Now I am happy again.

first of all. We have dont lease our phones from the phone company anymore. We dont insert finger and roll number around the dial pad anymore(if you do you should really consider BUYING a new phone. We dont need these fucking books. At minimum you spend the 50 cents and call 1411 and get the fucking number your looking for. That shit is at least updated. The fucking books are outdated before they are even printed, and im not an environmentalist by no means but thats a waste of a lot of fucking paper.

We have this thing called the internet and I challange anyone to find anything in that fucking book faster than i can on the internet with greater accuracy and speed. Not to mention that you find a ton more information that your looking for that you could never get out of a Godamn printed phone book.

If you are the person that leaves this shit on my door step and find your way to reading this. Quit. I dont want them, and more importantly i dont need them for anything. Except ripping them apart and using them as kindling. STOP bringing me these fucking books.




Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu Thoughts

So the buzz word of the day is "SWINE FLU". OK so while serious and I would not want anyone to catch this shit, it does however pose a few questions and a few statements which may be off color but are funny. So this is not in no way meant to offend folks who have it or have had it or if you know someone that had it. So take it at face value. There. With that said. I did come across this article on how to protect yourself from the Swine Flu. The source is unknown but i like where they are going with this. It seems to me that I should follow it and you too should see if it makes sense to you.

"You can take the doctor’s office approach. Think about it, when you go for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol.. Why? Because alcohol kills germs. So…… I put on my mask, walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up flu germs can’t get you!!"

Now with that. I intend to fully live up to this. I will start tonight and give it a try if a few days go by I will continue with the treatments and see if this in fact does help. If I get the Swine Flu than curse you bastard that wrote this article.

Wash Your Hands just to be on the safe side!

Tejas74 (out)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Earth You Wonderful Bastard

So tomorrow being "Earth Day" another day that has been set aside for no good reason whatsoever. I really find myself having to keep from throwing up in my mouth when we set aside a fucking day for the Earth. Face it this fucking planet has been here longer than any of us and will be here way after any of us. Its OK let it go already. We have fucked up this place from the beginning and no matter what we do we will continue to fuck this place up. There are too many people that don't give a shit "ME'. I know in my heart that if you combine all the garbage in the world it wouldn't come close to the shit that comes out of democrats. this is why on Earth Day I will be littering and putting as much carbon into the atmosphere as possible. So as i crack open a beer and pour it in a styrofoam cup here is to you earth You wonderful Bastard.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Post I wrote about Kevin Pollak Chat Show on NewTeeVee

Tejas74, April 15, 2009 at 12:05 PM
The KPCS is not your Grandma and Grandpas “Bob Hope Special”. Instead they have chosen a medium that in my opinion does include the audience. The live two way line of communication between the audience, host and guest is working. What other show do you know where “Joe Q. Public” can contribute such a big part such as theme music or writing an ending to a show. What other show has the flexibility to extend the interview of a guest without time constraints. There does not need to be this structure in the show that says, talk to this guest for 10min and make a reference to this. I believe that since it is not a cookie cutter format like a lot of other shows, The KPCS is and will draw a bigger audience every week. Which means the format is working. Sure there will be some technical tweaks that they make here and there but what I give Kevin Pollak and his crew kudos (isn’t kudos a snack) for being at the fore front of this medium. Keep it up KPCS and look forward to this Sunday’s show.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Kevin Pollak Chat Show (Awesome)

For the second week in a row i have taken the time to catch Kevin Pollak's chat show. Not very oftent do you run across something that you make the time and look forward to watching. This is and I cant wait till next week. It is a great format that is and willl become more of a smashing success. I have the utmost respect for the host Kevin Pollak and for the crew. What a talented bunch of individuals with a fresh idea and have the balls to run with it. Kudos to Kevin and crew, espically Jipsi K and Jason. Great job guys. Look forward to seeing the show next Sunday and will do my part to somehow get the word out on the show. Look forward to talking with you guys on Ventrillo and Twitter.


Shell Houston Open Still Full of Pricks

I had a chance to attend the Shell Houston Open this week, twice. I was fortunate to have great seats on the 17th hole Bayou Vista hospitality tent. Great Food, Great Drinks and Great Golf. However you can't have that much fun without a Prick showing up. Ok Im going to go into my rant about pricks. Now normally I would reserve the word Prick for a man but in this instance i will let loose the prick word on women as well.

Picture it a nice and cool breezy day to sit down and enjoy a meal and some drinks with my wife as we watch PGA pros approach the green on 17. Sounds great until MR. or MRS. Prick show up.
I will setup each scenario for you and then rip the prick apart. Hopefully those pricks will read this and realize that I am talking about them.

Prick 1 - My wife and I come back in from watching Fred Couples finish up on 10. There are a few more people in the tent now and my wife had gone to the restroom and left me with the responsibility of finding a table. So i walk over to the only table available, which is completly empty, except for the empty cocktail glasses and the trash all over the table. I am about to order a drink when Mr. Prick Shows up. About 6'3 black hair slicked back like Gordon Geko and reaking of liquor. He looks down at me and I am sitting so I look up at him. Hes standing there with more food and drinks. And i ask him if this table was taken. He said yes they got up to go walk aroud the course about 20 30 mins ago. So i told him well then this table isnt yours. Becuase you got up and walked about 30 mins ago and your SOL. So he set his drinks down on my table and proceeds to motion is friends over. I was like hey guy you left. Your table is gone now. they all sit down at the table not leaving any room for my wife. So my parting words were you fucking asshole bitch faggot mother fucker.

Pricks #2
Some fucking young twenty something rich bitches that were complaining about the food. 2 words FUCK YOU rich bitches.

Prick #3

Douche bag on the top of 17 clubhouse drinking scotch and being loud with his other fat ass friend. Making up stories about drinking 30 year old scotch and being loud durnig the game. Fat Ass piece of shit.

Prick #4

2 Douchbags that had sweaters tied around there necks. 80's are over douche dont bring it back.

Peace out...

Your Fucking Pizza Sucks.

Its 12:00pm. Time for Lunch. I get up and go down to the bowels of hell, the tunnels under Downtown Houston. Here there are all sorts of shops and places to eat. I am in the mood for pizza. So i go to this Pastabilitys joint. They sell pizza by the slice. Perfect. I get there and they have 2 pizzas made up for slicing. One Cheese and One Cheese and FUCKING BROCCOLI. What the fuck where they thinking. I didnt want pizza and a salad. I espically didnt want pizza with burnt, crispy ass Broccoli on it. Who the fuck puts Broccoli on pizza? The last thing that I expected was to see that shit. Look there are alot of fucking things that I can tolerate in this world but broccoli on pizza ain't one of em. So im standing in line and I get to order and low and behold all the cheese pizza is gone. Whys That? Becauase no body wants that other shit, its fucking broccoli. So I ask the mexican making pizza what do you have coming out of the oven, and to my shock hes got another fucking pizza with broccoli on its way out. So its either take the cold shit out or wait on the hot shit coming out. My reply was Your pizza fucking sucks.